Wednesday, October 22, 2014

Coffee will A. save you B. kill you C. swindle you or D. none of the above

I drink more Keurig dark roast coffee at work than any self-styled environmentalist has any right to, so I couldn't help but notice the contrasting studies this week on the world's favorite bean drink:

Coffee May Protect the Liver
More than 14,000 of the subjects drank coffee. After controlling for age, sex, race, education, smoking, alcohol consumption and other factors, the researchers found that compared with people who drank no coffee, those who drank three cups a day were about 25 percent less likely to have abnormal liver enzyme levels. Among the more than 2,000 who drank only decaffeinated coffee, the results were similar.
Two cups of coffee a day can harm fertility
Men who drank two or more cups of strong coffee a day had just a one in five chance of becoming fathers through IVF. However, for those who drank less than a cup, the chance of having a child rose to nearly 52 per cent.

The researchers at Massachusetts General Hospital, Boston, told a conference in Hawaii that caffeine may harm sperm at a molecular level. A shot of espresso contains around 100mg of caffeine. Those men who drank 265mg or more had the least chance of becoming fathers.

The study also showed that men who drink around a pint and a half of beer a night could improve their fertility.
Study on coffee, weight loss retracted
A 2012 study showing that green coffee bean extract helps dieters lose weight has been retracted, and a company selling the extract has paid a $3.5 million fine to the Federal Trade Commission for touting the unproven research in its advertising.

The FTC said Applied Food Sciences issued a misleading news release about the study, which it had commissioned, and then sent out a second news release promoting its extract after the topic was highlighted on "The Dr. Oz Show."
Perhaps once we've had our morning cup with Swiss Hitler creamers, we can all settle down, grill up some food with our Coffee Charcoals, and sort things out from there.


Bill said...

This is the best news ever for people like me who LOVELOVELOVE coffee and never ever ever ever ever want to have kids. What's hilarious about the Telegraph article is that it's written in a very stern, serious tone that seems to say "DANGER! TOO MUCH COFFEE WILL MAKE YOU STERILE!" But I know a lot of people are reading and thinking, "WOO HOO! COFFEE MAKES ME LESS STERILE! WOO HOO!"

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